My wise friend, Mischa Decker, recently posted the quote “We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.” I saw this post on Instagram and scribbled it down on a sticky pad next to my computer. I am not one to collect quotes, in fact, I am not one to collect anything at all so it surprised me that I took the time to write it down. Over the last couple weeks I have thought about this quote many times. I was not quite sure why I kept coming back to it then it dawned on me...it is Fall! Now, this took me a second to realize because it is still so hot here in North Carolina, but it is in fact the Fall season. Nature is in the process of changing and dying and shifting to prepare for winter. It is only natural that we humans feel that same pull to shed what is unnecessary, let the parts of us that are holding us back die off and prepare for a more harmonious future.
So. Yeah. Duh. It makes sense. We are part of nature. Nature is making these changes. I guess it is time for us to do the same.
Ok. So how do we do that?
Listen. I am no expert on this but I do know the only way we will ever see improvements in our lives is if we open ourselves up and allow change to come in and rearrange some things. I know it sounds scary and sometimes easier said than done, but if you are willing to put in the work the reward is so worth it. We have to start with our thoughts.
“We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.”
What I find most often holds my patients back from creating real change is the idea that they are who they are (or have what they have) and there is little they can do about it. This kind of definitive thinking holds us back and blocks change from coming in. I often hear patients say things like...
“I am a perfectionist, it’s just how I am.”
“I am type A, I can’t help it.”
“I have XYZ.”
I am sure we can all identify with these types of excuses, I mean, declarations (hint hint). But what happens if we don’t hide behind excuses? What happens if we don’t own these declarations as our present self? What if we change the way we tell our story? What if we start by saying...
“I have had perfectionist tendencies.”
“I have behaved in a type A way.”
“In the past I was like that.”
“I am living with XYZ.”
“I have experienced XYZ.”
By changing a couple words in each sentence we have shared our experience without allowing it to define us. We do not have to be the person we were in the past. Becoming a better version of ourselves means letting go of who we think we are and allowing space for new thoughts and ideas about ourselves. It opens us up for the possibility that we might one day become what we want to be.
What do you want to let go of this Fall season?